Five years...

"It is at the beginning of most marriages that we are likely to encounter the real challenges of commitment, such as the need to let go of control, the ability to overcome resistance to change, the willingness to put aside our ego-desires in favor of shared concerns, and the willingness to to be vulnerable and honest in the face of fear and pain."
-Roy Petitfils

Happy Five Year Anniversary to Dean and I!

Did you know that most couples make it or break it by five years? FIVE years. It's not THAT long, most people have relationships longer than that before committing to marriage, right? Well according to new research, that's not the case anymore. I know that Divorce is on the rise, or should I say, that marriage is on a decline? Whichever it is, I am very blessed to have my marriage, and not just that, but the family my marriage has created and even more so than that, the person I am because of my marriage!

I think that after a certain amount of time together, that couples finally give into changing or not changing. Not to say that you are expected to change for your spouse, but we no longer think a phase will burn out, and we realize that our partners annoying tendencies are in fact never going to change, and we did in fact marry that person lying beside us. Of course this goes both ways... I had always heard of the seven year itch, but the less common it is for marriages to last, I guess the five year mark is the new standard...

ANYWAYS... I am not going to compare my marriage to statistics, but I will say that in five years, it's apparent that a MARRIAGE TAKES WORK! It's not all about you anymore, nor is it all about your spouse. It's the marriage you have, that treasure that no one but you and your spouse have the power over.  The flirting fun ways you stole each others hearts are often a distant memory, but if you are truly in love with your partner, then while those days might not be as frequent, they definitely still exist. :)

Adding children to the mix can also bring your marriage responsibilities to a new level. It takes even more team work to keep your marriage a priority! I always try to tell myself that we would not have our children if it weren't for our marriage, but I think Dean and I would agree that our TWO give us so much more, and it makes our relationship even better.

So lets reflect. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. GIRL asks out boy, sparks fly. Soon comes the wedding, and a new bundle of joy. Two years into that, comes baby number two... with a whole bunch of love, squabbles and even more love all in between!!

TODAY! Today I love Dean MORE than I did in our dating years! More when it was just easy and carefree love. More because I have grown to love his faults, his imperfections, and for many, many other reasons. He is my partner, my friend, my ally, my confident. He is the father of my children, he is my HUSBAND!

While we have most definitely had a wonderful marriage thus far, there have been less than wonderful moments, and times we were so uncertain at where we were. We are also adults now, and we know which things are truly worth fighting for and over, and those that we need to just bite our tongues, and walk away. Nonetheless, we are happy to be celebrating five years together!!! In those five years, I have come to realize so many things. That while no one is perfect, each and every time the thought comes to my mind, Dean and I are perfect for each other! There is no one I could imagine spending the rest of my life with other than Dean! When someone says you are their better half, or whatever... Dean and I know that we kind of are to each other. When Dean's lying on the couch waiting for time to pass and me to get off my kick for wanting to go, go, GO! He knows that I am his better half, well at least in this scenario. I don't let him procrastinate, and that's something I know he hates about himself. Me on the other side... when I am about to go ballistic, and rip someones head off for who knows what!!!! Dean, is my calmer, loving side. He can get anything done with poise and manners (although, I won't let him forget the mop story at Big Lots to prove he too can get mad!) You get where I am going with this.

Sometimes the things you think are not that big of a relationship blunder, are so very important indeed! Things that you have tried to change, and they are just who you are... when you find that perfect someone, that part of your life is changed by what they do for you instead!!! I could give many more examples, but those are two that Dean and I laugh about, and just know without the other, things would either never get done, or one of us would be in jail... Ha!

Every relationship takes work. In the beginning, it's a breeze because you're not afraid of losing someone. In the later days of dating, it's more serious, because now there are feelings and the thought of losing your crush is devastating. After the proposal, it's dedication to work through anything, and to see how the other handles each scenario thrown your way. Some relationships at this point are obviously shattered, but if you get to the point, where you in fact marry that "one and only", there becomes this unwritten rule of not giving up. Not only not giving up, but the commitment, family, etc... This is of course what builds the foundation of your relationship, how you handle each phase, when the hotness wears off, when the children leave your body stretched and saggy, when the meals you learned how to cook just for him/her stick to the body prepared for.

The past five years have been much more fun than fret for me. I say all the above, because Dean and I have always been told we "are so perfect". Trust me, we're not. But we are still the fun loving couple that met 6 1/2 years ago. We are still best friends to each other, and we still make each other laugh, a lot!! We also, like many predict, are that couple that has squirt gun fights, and turn our home into a war zone because neither of us think too far is really too far! We try to set an example to our boys how important love is, and what love looks like. It's not always perfect, but it's always loving.

For our anniversary this year, sadly we will not be doing our traditional Titans game, but instead we are going to celebrate while we are in FL since there will be more to do! Five years is five years, and that mark definitely deserves more than a podunk town to celebrate!!! No idea what we will do in FL, but it will be nice to have some options, and a baby sitter for the evening! Whatever we do, it will be fun, and if that means riding roller coasters at midnight, Dean and I will just be happy to do it together!

FIVE YEARS

1,826,210 days... + 1 for leap year

43,829,063 hours...

2 children

100's of FIGHTS/Make Up's

5 Cities/3 Homes

1 thought of giving up...
Endless nights of laughter
Hours spent discussing our dreams
Living it for the last five years...

At least 65 more anniversary's I want to share with you...

Happy FIFTH Anniversary Babe!! Here is to many, many more to come. Thank you for (6 1/2 years) together, thank you for being my friend, my confident, and an amazing husband. Thank you for the family you helped create, for being such a wonderful father and for teaching our boys how to love a woman! I love you more than you know!

Xoxo

Your Wifey

Minnesota...

The boys and I have been in Minnesota for a little over two weeks! In that time, we have a good layout of the area, have been on several adventures, and got back on a normal schedule and routine despite now being back on central time!

Dean started back to work on Thursday of last week! It was so nice to spend some time with him before the craziness of a new project sets in, and so I guess I can't complain too much, since we did get almost two weeks together with him keeping his daily pay! In the last few projects, we have only come to visit Dean after the initial project starts, so it will be a test of my patience to see how forgiving I am when I don't get to see much of Dean in the weeks to come. We are very thankful that we are under the same roof at night though, and will look forward to the days he does get off to spend together as a family! Today is actually one of those days. Dean went into work early this morning, only to be sent home due to the wind speeds and the lack of actual work to do when the winds are so high. Unfortunately, that means he'll be working through the night, so it's my job today to keep the boys quiet while he gets some much needed sleep in!!

Last week I also found a school to enroll not only Jax, but Liam and myself in!!! It's pretty much a pre-school, however it's not based solely on the child's age, but the class you want them in. So Jax will be in a 3-5 year old class called Discovery Place, and will attend for 2 hours each Tuesday and Thursday. On Wednesday's Liam and I will have a class together, while Jax gets free play time with other students/older siblings! I think this is something that sets this school aside from others, is that it is a requirement for the parents to be involved, and that's where Liam's class comes in. In that class, Liam will have the child to child interaction with children his age, but I will also learn special things to do with him based on HIS development and our home lifestyle. I will also be provided with very much needed Mommy time to met other mothers in the area, and hopefully make some new MN friends!

Aside from THAT awesome find, we have settled into a routine, and are quite comfortable in our new home away from home. We finally got a couch that we can all snuggle on, and just in time for football season!!! Liam learned to signal TOUCHDOWN and is absolutely adorable holding his little arms up cheering with Mommy and Daddy! (Seahawks side of this post that is, as the Titans are starting off, eh... not in the best way!)

The weather has been a roller coaster, and all four of us have been up and down with coughing and sneezing and all around sickness! I thought it was suppose to be cooler here, when in fact, it's been MUCH warmer here up North, than it has in the South. Again, I say this now, but I am so over summer and just want sweatshirt, jean and hot chocolate weather. That should be standard on the first day of football!

Last week I also had my first doctor's appointment to establish care at the Mayo Clinic Rochester! I met with an internalist who specializes in hypertension, but based on how long I have had it, and the "controlled" readings I still get, he has already put my name on a first available list to the Hypertension Clinic in Rochester. I am REALLY excited that I may finally have a team try to figure me out!! I know there are good doctors everywhere, but if you know anything about the Mayo Clinic systems, they tend to get the "freak" cases and have so many studies going on that, I'm hopeful SOMEONE can figure me out!

Nash has been enjoying his time indoors and has gotten a little too comfortable as the only dog, and an inside dog. He is only outside long enough to go potty, and after last weekend, when he decided to run off at midnight keeping Dean and I awake until 3am, with no return in sight... he REALLY only gets to be outside supervised. (I am still getting calls from the Albert Lea area with information on a black wandering dog. Yes, I ended up getting a letter written out of pure desperation printed in the Albert Lea Tribune). Thankfully he had a guilty nose pressed up against the back door early the next morning! (my letter wasn't published until four days later, and I wasn't sure it would even reach anyone!) I didn't think he would come back actually, and so it was a bit scary!

I can't believe it's almost been a month since we said goodbye to Argo. :( Jax still asks about him pretty frequently, but they are getting further apart, so hopefully the pain for him missing his pup is subsiding.

Other than that, we are very happy to have met our neighbors, and get to be a part of neighborhood play dates with all the children. It's been so long since I've ever paid attention to how many kids can be in one neighborhood, but this is pretty impressive. Almost every house has a child!!! We're definitely looking forward to an easy Halloween this year!

I have also entertained the thought of joining a gym while Jax is in school, but I think I nixed that idea a few hours after starving myself of anything remotely tasty on my quest to begin a diet. I may still get a gym membership, but probably will waste the use of it! Haha.

While in Minnesota, I am really looking forward to the possibility of meeting my Dad's biological side of the family. Dad has met most of his family since my health scare in 2004, and they ALL live in MN!!! It would be really nice to put some faces with the names I've heard of over the years, and although the chance is slim, being able to meet my paternal grandmother would be amazing. Dad's biological mom knows that he wants to meet her, but up to this point she has declined. If I could just get in to see her, and somehow press the idea of them meeting, it would be life changing for my dad!

Well, as I type... the kids one by one are waking from their naps implying that my alone time to catch up are over. Now the task of keeping them entertained quietly while Daddy sleeps will begin!!

Love and miss you all and hope everyone is doing well!!!

Shylah