Goodbye Argo...

Exactly a month after Argo was diagnosed with Wobblers, today we said goodbye. I've never had to willingly put a pet down before, but I was a strong as I could be for him.
Losing a pet, regardless if they are "yours" or not is hard, but being the one to make that decision is even harder. Today I gave Argo all the things he loved. Cuddles on the couch, the longest scratch session, I let him lead me through the country fields as far as he could handle to go. We stopped at the top of the hill and just sat there. I cried, I hugged him and I told him how sorry I was for this happening and that I hope he understood why we had to say goodbye. I'm thankful for our walk; the silence of the country and the beautiful mountain views. It was peaceful, it's what he loved, and with every stumble he took, it made my decision feel right.

Before we left to the clinic, I arranged the front seat so he could safely put his head out the window one last time, something he just discovered he loved. On the way to the clinic, we stopped at a friends hot dog stand to get him one last treat, which ended up being more than that, and continued on driving as slowly as I could.

After our last goodbye just the two of us, Dr. Claiborne came into administrate the meds. He made sure we were both ready, which as hard as it was, Argo laid his head down, and closed his eyes giving me the strength to let go. It didn't take long, but I held him, hugged him, and had my hand on his heart and felt his last beat. He looked so peaceful, and instantly I knew it was the best decision. He will be cremated, and we plan on scattering some of his ashes around our home, as that's where his heart was... Being a hound dog.

Being Jaxon's dog, the last few weeks we explained to him that Argo was sick, and talked to him almost daily about puppy heaven and living with the angels. Although he's only three, I do believe us being honest with him and telling him what happened was the best way to handle it. I'm not certain he understands the concept 100%, but he knows that Argo will be with God and that he'll no longer be sick and that when he misses Argo, that he is right there in his heart.
Jax said that when he missed Argo that he would he just get a big ladder and go see him with God and play with him there! :)

I hate that Argo was so young, and how fast this disease ruined him, but he just wasn't the Argo he used to be. I know we made the right decision, but still it's one of the hardest situations I've been faced with. I'm thankful for the last month, as hard as it was to see him deteriorate, I got to spoil him, and baby him and hope he knows that he was loved.

A sincere thank you to all those who helped us along this short journey, for the many who have called to check on me, and for the prayers for peace and strength. I definitely felt it all, so thank you.

Dear Argo,
I miss you already. I know that you weren't "my" dog, as this was established the moment we picked you out. You were the new "buppy" and the new best friend to Jax. You were Jaxon's puppy.
I also realize that you weren't always treated as fairly or as favored as Nash, but as you should know, you are and were very much loved by us all.
Yes you angered me to tears with your constant running off after rabbits, or just because you needed to retrace your last hunting excursion, but as your disease progressed, it was clear to me that you were in fact living your life to the fullest. I'm sorry for the names I called you when you would finally come back home, but it was because I loved you, and I was worried you would become another victim of the road...
You were brought into a home with love even when there were times we neglected your interests like playing fetch, or walking to the mailbox, or scratching the tip of your nose, which you oddly loved so much. You never slept a night outside, went without a meal (by our choice), didn't help clean up after "your" boy, or get told we love you!! Your favorite toy, the battered and ragged squirrel you adored was always accounted for, and the cheat grass and thimbles you collected in your paws was always plucked out in the most sympathetic tender way...
You were just a baby and I wish we had many more years to have you as our pet, but we are glad we had you for the two years we did. I'm so sorry you got sick, and I'm sorry that you were confused at no longer being able to be you. I hope you felt our love every day, and especially the last month we were together. We really tried to do our best, and keep you as comfortable as possible. Despite your tendency to run, thank you for being the loving natured dog you were.
As I write this, know that we will miss you very much. Jax actually said he was going to take you away from God so he wouldn't be sad, and that you wouldn't be sick anymore. I know he is young, but he loved you and you were his. :(
I hope that you are on the other side of the rainbow bridge having the time of your life doing what you were born to do... Please don't chase my rabbit, PJ!! Tell Chopper we miss him too!!
We will be together again one day buddy, but until that day, you will remain in our hearts!!
We love you Argo.

RIP Buddy

2010-2012

Goodbye Michigan, hello Minnesota!!

Last week the boys and I left the upper peninsula of MI for the last time (that we know of). Dean packed up and left for MN on Sunday morning, and has his first meeting with the project managers Tuesday morning to determine the next few months being in MN. This project will be in Blue Earth and an 18 turbine assignment.
Before we left MI, we found a house to rent since we were told that he'll be there through the end of the year, so we'll be traveling and staying w/Dean for the winter there, which seems so backwards leaving the warmer southern climate going north where we know the winters are brutal!! I have a feeling it's going to be a very bad winter too!! But, we're excited that we'll be together as a family!!
We found a home in Albert Lea, that we were able to negotiate with the owners to fully furnish and allow us to bring the pups, so we're happy that we won't have to pack up for just a few months.
In the meantime, we still have our house in Greeneville, that although it seems wasteful to keep and not be there to enjoy it, the way I see it, is while we're with Dean, he gets to keep his daily per diem so each month he goes on R&R and we're there, we are really only paying the same cost as a storage unit, but still have a place to call home for the projects we know we won't go with him.
I'm really excited to be in a new place, and of course I say this now, but I'm very much looking forward to the holidays all bundled up with the boys!! Plus Albert Lea is very centrally located and about an hour to an hour and a half from everything that we'll need including the Mall of America which has a Nordstroms AND a Nordstroms Rack!! :)

We are beyond blessed that we have the means and opportunity to travel with Dean while the boys are little, because Dean really loves his job and so it's nice we can support him and his industry together as a family!!

I'll be sure to post all about the place as soon as we're there!!

Love,
Shylah

Mackinac Island, MI...

Finally, I can say that I have been to Mackinac Island! I had been really wanting to go since our last visit to MI in June, so for Dean's last R&R there, we decided to make a day trip with the boys and see what the island was all about!

Mackinac island is an island off the very tip of the upper peninsula. In 1898 the city banned all use of motorized vehicles except for one ambulance for the ENTIRE island. The only means of transportation are bikes, horse and buggy and by foot!! I didn't actually believe it until I saw a moving van being offloaded onto a cart with four horses...

When we got off the ferry and off of the dock board walk, I think I was more amazed at the fact that there were no cars lining the streets. All there REALLY were, were bikes and bikes, and parking lots full of bikes, and about 25 bike rental and repair shops lining either side of the streets. Of course along with that, were the quaint shops, parlors, a city market, fudge and ice cream shops galore!!!

We walked around, got lunch and did all the touristy stuff while we were in the downtown area. Then decided to really get the island tour, that we needed to rent some bikes and ride around the island.

I was a little bummed we couldn't attach a kid hauler to a tandem bike, but Dean got an orange bike at Jaxon's request and hauled our babies every where. This is an understatement of how awesome he really is!! The first few miles were a breeze, and the boys loved being chauffeured!! We decided to cut through the island, which I didn't want to admit to, because I wanted to say we rode around the whole island, but after we did it, and didn't die, I'll gladly brag that we took that route. There were more historical sites and more to see on the cut through and that's why we did it, but shortly after the point of no return we learned why we were the ONLY ones who went this way...there were SO many hills!!! I thought I was going to die, and at least the burn in my legs took the pain away from my butt hurting from the bike seat. All the while I complained, my amazing hubby kept on trucking, encouraging me (even with the additional weight he was hauling, he never complained once!) and we made it to the other side!!! Yeah!!! It was so much fun though!! I think we rode a total of 5-6 miles, the entire island is only 8 in circumference, so taking in the account of the torturous hills, and not riding a bike since, oh maybe 5th grade, we did really good, just a bit out of shape!

Along the way we stopped to read the historical marker signs, take pictures, have a snack and really take in the gorgeousness of a world of it's own. I'm not certain I could live w/out a vehicle, and I'm still wondering how a pregnant woman gets herself to the hospital. I know you wouldn't see my pregnant body on a bike just before giving birth!!

After returning our bikes, we let the boys burn off some energy at a playground there, and even though the tempers were getting short, we still stopped for ice cream, and world famous Mackinac Fudge! Jax was served a fresh piece after watching the fudge maker for about 15 minutes!! We went into several shops looking for souvenirs, but sadly, left empty handed.

The boys loved being hauled around, and getting to see a place completely free of overly busy people. Dean and I enjoyed our ride (minus the hills) and to me it was like a first date again, but only better having the boys in tow!

I've heard the only way to become a resident is by blood and inheritance, but I would love another trip and to stay for a few days to take in all of the island, but I'm not sure we'll be back.

Thanks honey for such a fanatic day with you and our boys!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mackinac_Island more info on the island!

I did it!!!

In honor of Breastfeeding Awareness Month (August), I would like to pat myself on the back for successfully breastfeeding both of my boys!!

I have been steadfast in my dedication to not only saving money spent on formulas over two long term breastfeeding journeys, but also in giving my children the best source of nutrition there is!

I nursed Jaxon for 13 months and Liam is in the process of weaning after 18 months!!

Through our journey, I not only educated myself with all the benefits associated with breastfeeding, but I also educated friends, family and strangers to help with their journeys. I nursed two preemies who most said I would not be able to. I also donated enough expressed breast milk from Liam's NICU days to help and nurture a donor preemie plagued by GI issues and rejecting all formulas for six months!!

While its been daunting at times, and hard on my body through countless growth spurts, teething and illnesses, I DID it!!

I am very much looking forward to reclaiming my body, and tossing the nursing bras once and for all, but I know there will be times I miss the bond that only I could continue to give my children after evicting them from my belly!!

I hope I have helped those who have asked, I thank those who have helped me, supported me, and encouraged me along the way. I pray that now that I am done, that I can finish up the classes I started to become a certified counselor. I would really like to help as many mothers as I can, and especially to dedicate my knowledge and experiences to the tiniest babies of the NICU, whom most are told "they're too tiny".

A special THANK YOU to my friends and family who have put up with my preaching, warming bottles to give my children, smiling through spit up of "you know what" and mostly my husband for your loving support for me and our children and never complaining on the duration, and the fact that our babies co-slept for almost a year each just to give me extra sleep!

Good luck to those who try, and for those who simply can not, please remember that formulas are NOT the devil. They are formulated after the "best" and as closely to it as possible. There are reasons to why some can't, personal decisions and health factors, but if you try, you have done your best already!!

Here is a link that has several good articles about the benefits and the how to's if any of you have questions!!

http://www.fitpregnancy.com/motherhood/breastfeeding/breastfeeding-awareness-month

Shylah

Learning about Wobblers...

Since I have been home from WA, I have noticed that Argo has been really uncoordinated. He had gotten sick while we were in WA with GI issues that were explained by his hunting/eating habits, but after meds/antibiotics he seemed to clear up.

The day after we got home, I noticed that he was walking very gingerly, and I assumed it was discomfort due to his tummy issues. So another round of medicine and he seemed to perk back up. After a week, he was still walking around, hobbling, and I couldn't imagine that he was still "backed up", so I took video of him clumsily falling down the stairs, walking in a straight line, and overall just looking drunk from the waist down.

I took him back into the vet after researching illnesses that could cause his clumsiness, and had found two possibilities that were both treatable, but that sounded like something he could have. After getting him checked over, our vet did a simple leg/foot check where he rolled Argo's feet under him to see how he responded. The front legs did what they were supposed to, and immediately came back to a normal standing position. The back legs however, stayed turned under, which prompted Dr. Claiborne to do some x-rays of his neck area to rule out a condition called Wobblers Syndrome.

So I left him to have the images taken, and after a few hours, received a call confirming that Argo had several areas of degeneration to his cervical vertebra that were essentially pinching his spinal cord, which is diagnosed as Wobblers.

I came into pick Argo up, and learned from Dr. Claiborne some options we had to go forward with the treatment. Wobblers in short: is a degeneration or malformation of the cervical vertebra that cause the vertebra to lose their shape, creating a point, which usually pinches or puts pressure on the spinal cord and slowly paralyzes the dog from the back up. We were both a little stunned that he had a moderate case, and even more so, that this is typically a disease that effects large breed canines: Great Danes, Doberman Pinchers, Rottweilers, etc. It is also the same disease that horses are notorious for developing. Argo is 47lbs, he is a lab/coonhound mix, and of course we don't know how big his parents were, but typically other breeds and small dogs are seen in less than 5% of all Wobbler cases.

Here is a link that I found that describes this disease in plain english. http://www.petassure.com/newsletters/011510newsletter/01152010Article4.html

Unfortunately the best way to correct the issue is by surgery, which looking at his x-rays, he wouldn't be a good candidate for. There is medical treatment with steroids that should alleviate some of the pressure and swelling around the spinal cord, and possibly help him not be so clumsy, but since it's a neurological disease and there are nerves involved, the damage that has already happened won't get better. The steroids also don't prevent the damage from moving forward, and so we were told in his case, he could be happy and healthy otherwise for weeks to weeks or weeks to months on end.

The past week, I have educated myself on this disease, and come to grips that sooner than later, we will have to make the dreaded decision to say goodbye before he gets to the point of pain and or looses his ability to use the bathroom, and the paresis moves forward. I only pray that I know when, and that it's not sooner than we are ready.

We began treating him with a low dose steroid to see how he does on that, but with steroids, comes the side effects. We're hoping to see some improvement, and be able to dose him off and on rather than keep him on the steroids long term and prevent any damage that that can cause. He's been on his medicine for five days, and I can't tell if he's doing better or not. We have a follow-up appointment today to discuss further measures we can take in keeping him comfortable longer. There are ways to do a home rehab with rest, a cervical brace and medications, but we also need to make sure it doesn't progress to the point of pain in the meantime. As of now, we were told that he shouldn't have any discomfort, other than the annoyance of when your foot falls asleep. I have been keeping an eye on him, and making sure he's not not doing anything to cause more damage. I also have been carrying him up and down the stairs, which thankfully he knows I am trying to help, so he patiently waits for me to pick him up.

I have never been in the situation of looking at one of my furbabies knowing soon they wouldn't be with us, and it is especially hard, as he is not even three years old. Of course Argo was brought into our family for Nash and Jax after we lost Chopper, but he is definitely one of my boys... The past week I have spoiled him rotten and hope that he sees until we have to say goodbye how much we love him, and will miss him when he's gone. Today we have our friend coming over to take some family photos before he gets too bad, and we are gone.

Dr. Claiborne said that Argo would be fine to travel with and it would be better for him than cooped up in a kennel, so we will resume with our travel plans to MI in a few days, and just make sure he gets a good vacation out of it as well.

I have no idea when the day will come, but I ask that you please pray, think, or just send us good vibes, and that Argo will stay comfortable and happy, and that we will know when it's time.

Thank you